This meme was created for YA Midnight Reads as a weekly discussion post of all things bookish (though sometimes not-so-bookish)
Throughout your life, you’re gonna have a whole lot of haters. So why be one to yourself too? STOP the self-hate and START loving yourselves, y’all. No prince in shining armor is going to notice how much you’re hurting and how “beautifully broken” you are and rescue you. You have to be your own hero in this story.
And you should love you some you. I’ve been having a kick ass week, so when I got up for some coffee this morning I was feeling great about myself. Like the ‘flip your hair, strut to some Blondie truly feeling great about myself’. And I heard something that made me pretty sad. A group of like ten years olds (I’m estimating) passed me by and I overheard “I just wish I was pretty, you know?” Of course she was beyond gorgeous and it just really impacted me that girls that young are already falling prey to societal pressures on beauty perpetuated by the media. I would have totally stopped what I was doing in the moment but alas, I was already late for work and and the girls were long gone when I got my coffee. Ooops.
So I suppose this post is me attempting to reach out to any girls out there who feel discouraged and self hatred towards themselves. This post is that 10 year old girl who is already experiencing the unrealistic, unfair, narrow and frankly arbitrary standards of beauty that exist in our society. This post is something I wish I could have not only read when I was younger, but read and truly have comprehended. This post is a list of things I think were/are imperative into finding my own general happiness, confidence and generally being at peace with myself.
– Here’s a lil secret – no one is going to be what ‘society’ wants. The skinny girls, while they’re portrayed as the essence of beauty, aren’t what society wants. The curvy girls that are hailed as the real women, aren’t what society wants. NO ONE will ever be the perfect image of a woman, because that perfect woman doesn’t exist. The people dictating beauty don’t know what the want, although it’s pretty obvious they want to create a beast women will chase after their entire lives. Don’t let society rule you. It ain’t easy, and you don’t have to feel like Beyonce every minute of everyday. Even she doesn’t feel amazing every minute of everyday, and you can’t be expected to. You’re a Goddess, but you’re also human. You can have a shit day, just don’t let your bad days become an constant.
– Love your sisters, your fellow females. Everyone is beautiful – and no one has it easy. I’ve already stressed that there is no perfect image, and no one will ever be what some people believe is beautiful. The skinny girl doesn’t have it easy, the curvy girl doesn’t have it easy, the girl who doesn’t even think she counts as a body type doesn’t have it easy. Hell, there are more then two extremes of body types. Its easy to call someone a skinny bitch or fat. I get it. But how the hell do you expect to be loved and accepted when you won’t give that to someone else? The biggest roadblock in our movement is each other, and if we all got together positively and supported each other, we’d be further along. Every girl deserves to feel beautiful, because she is beautiful. If you see someone getting knocked down, speak out. I know its not easy, but YOU have to help your sisters out.
– Relationships are super cool. I love me some me, and I quite enjoy my boyfriend. You have every right to love your boyfriend, your girlfriend and especially your cat. I just want you to remember that you aren’t beautiful because a guy or girl tells you that you are. If your partner helps you find your self confidence, that’s AMAZING. But your beauty doesn’t hinder on relationships, and please don’t feel you have to date someone to feel beautiful. I’ve seen too many girls lose themselves in relationships because they feel that’s the only way to be pretty.
And for all the girls who are feeling shitty because they haven’t dated yet – don’t! I didn’t really date until quite recently year, and I have friends who have yet to. It has nothing to do with you, and you are no less beautiful than that girl who has been dating for eons. Furthermore, I find it imperative to understand that not everybody needs/wants to date.
ALSO IF YOUR PARTNER MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE ANY LESS OF A GODDESS, GET RID OF THEM.
I’m not talking about strictly abuse, because that’s a topic that deserves its own set. If he/she doesn’t make you feel special, and if they make little digs, or always put themselves first – anything that takes away your Goddess status, don’t stay with them. Relationships when you’re my age aren’t as serious as if you’re twenty nine and engaged. ESPECIALLY when you’re in highschool, there is no reason for you to be with someone you don’t like. You’re not dating that guy to marry him, so don’t treat your relationship like a marriage. You are #1, and the most important relationship you should have is the one with yourself.
I could honestly go on and on about this topic (… and probably will on Twitter and my comments here) but I feel like this is a good place to stop. I hope at least one single sentence of this discussion will manage to embed itself in your minds the next time darker thoughts take over. And if anybody wants to talk to me at any moment in time – PLEASE DO. I love each and every one of you guys to bits.
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