By: Melanie | September 25, 2014 | (38) Comments

Review: Kiss Kill Vanish by Jessica MartinezKiss Kill Vanish by Jessica Martinez
Publisher: Katherine Tegen
Release Date: October 7, 2014
Genres: Contemporary, Mystery, YA
Pages: 432
Source: Received in exchange for review
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Valentina Cruz no longer exists.

One moment, she was wrapped in Emilio’s arms, melting into his kiss. The next, she was witnessing the unthinkable: a murder in cold blood, ordered by her father and carried out by her boyfriend. When Emilio pulled the trigger, Valentina disappeared. She made a split-second decision to shed her identity and flee her life of privilege, leaving the glittering parties and sultry nightlife of Miami far behind.

She doesn’t know how to explain to herself what she saw. All she knows now is that nothing she believed about her family, her heart, or Emilio’s love, was real.

She can change her name and deny her past, but Valentina can’t run from the truth. The lines between right and wrong, and trust and betrayal, will be blurred beyond recognition as she untangles the deceptions of the two men she once loved and races to find her own truth.

stickers-my-review (1)Kiss Kill Vanish was a total bust right from the beginning. Honestly, I don’t know how I even made it to the end, but I did and I have a lot of criticisms.

1. The beginning is boring as hell. The stuff they write on cereal boxes are more interesting than what this book had to offer me. I’m told in the synopsis that Valentina Cruz no longer exists and that she just witnessed her father and boyfriend commit a murder. THAT SOUNDED EXCITING. And I was expecting something just as exciting or something related to that, instead of a girl sitting down as a muse for a wannabe artist in the first few chapters. CHAPTERS. I HAD TO SUFFER CHAPTERS OR BOREDOM. Where’s all my interesting plot gone? The first few chapters of a book are meant to draw you into a story, on a scale of 1 to 10, this book got 0 for interestingness.

2. Guess what, it continues it’s boring-ness for the rest of the book. LIKE WHY. WHY DO YOU DO THIS. I was expecting a lot of flashbacks to the night that the murder happened and a lot of juicy details but I get none of that. Instead, I am forced to sit through pages and pages is events that really don’t perk my interest at all.

3. The thing is, I didn’t just hate the book for it being a total liar in the synopsis and how nothing happens for majority of the read. The main character makes everything so much more unbearable.

  • She spends most of her time whining about how crap her life has become. I mean, I’m sorry, but GET OVER YOURSELF.
  • She’s a spoiled little brat. Why? See my first dot point.
  • She’s completely and utterly witless. Sometimes I begin to wonder if she even has a brain. Because not once in this book is it shown that she actually might possess one. One prime example is that she chooses to flee to Montreal when she sees her boyfriend commit a crime. Not only is she totally rash, (I mean, dude, calm down, your boyfriend murdered someone, but you don’t need to flee the city. THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS.) but also MONTREAL? You can’t even speak French. Also, you and your boyfriend spoke about going to Montreal and your father has been to Montreal. Cannot you have chosen a place where people can’t find you as easy?

4. The plot was flawed. There were so many loopholes. I get that ‘on the run’ novels are pretty hard to tackle because it can get unrealistic real quick, but this just started off as unrealistic. Valentina was also a really poor planner and every action she made was totally irrational and just made me cringe.

5. The romance. God. Your boyfriend, Emilio, killed someone. You, Valentina, then still run to him and completely ignore the fact that he committed a crime. What’s more, is that you still rely on him to solve all your problems. WOMAN. THIS GUY HAS ISSUES. CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? Oh but wait, you do too, so I guess that explains that. She’s basically ‘O Emilio!’ all the damn time like girl, he’s not your bloody Romeo. But thinking of it, he is because Romeo technically also killed someone. Well then…

Moreover, Valentina thinks more about Emilio than her family and friends during her time in Montreal. It’s concerning, to say the least.

Oh, and there’s a love triangle. You know what? I’m not even going to go there. 
In all, Kiss Kill Vanish was a waste of time. The plot was underdeveloped and I struggle to just conjure up one reason as to why Valentina was an okay protagonist. She just isn’t. Also, I can only see the romance as a plot device. If I had a say in it, I wouldn’t recommend this at all.

~Thank you Katherine Tegen for sending me this copy!~

1 Stars
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Owner (and crazy nut) at YA Midnight Reads
Melanie is one of the totally fabulous bloggers at YA Midnight Reads. She's a 16 year old student from Melbourne, Australia. She is normally found binge watching TV series, reading , blogging, procrastinating or fangirling about how Percabeth is the best ship ever. She's also a lover of caps lock and uses it excessively.

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38 Responses to Review: Kiss Kill Vanish by Jessica Martinez

  1. Wow, boring and a whiny MC, yeah, not for me.
    Jennifer Bielman recently posted…Guest Post: Unrequited by Emily Shaffer (Blog Tour & Giveaway)My Profile

  2. Melliane says:

    Oh that’s so sad! But yes it’s already difficult when the story is boring at first and when it continues like that it’s just too much. I’m sorry it wasn’t for you…
    Melliane recently posted…Zomburbia by Adam GallardoMy Profile

  3. I’ve been curious about this one because not many people have had their say but THANK YOU for this review. Now I know to stay clear. I’m the type of person who would’ve fallen straight into the charm of the wondrously engrossing synopsis. I love mysteries. BUT I hate whiny MCs even more. And a lack of common sense. That will just destroy a book for me. Fabulous review, Mel! Thanks for saving me some time 😀
    Jess @MyReadingDress recently posted…Blogger Confession: I Can’t Read a New Book Without Finishing my ReviewMy Profile

  4. Damn, this one sounded so promising! I loved the sound of the plot… but urgh, so not a fan of whiny main characters — that would be enough, I think, to make me put it down. Mystery/thriller stories are some of my favourite genres, though honestly, after reading this review, I think I’ll be giving it a miss! Great review!
    Kara @ Diary of a Teen Writer recently posted…Loony Blurbs (1)My Profile

  5. I’m so glad I didn’t add it to my wishlist! 😀 Yeah, I know, my sixth sense is pretty amazing 😛 You did a fantastic job with Gifs! Thanks for the review! Looking forward to more by you 🙂
    Book Maniac Reviews
    Kiran J. @ Book Maniac Reviews recently posted…ARC Review: Since You’ve Been Gone by Mary Jennifer PayneMy Profile

  6. Jasprit says:

    When I read this book too, it did sound like it had a lot of potential. But I think Valentina would just make me want to pull my hair out. You did really well sticking through this book Melanie. I hope you get to read something amazing next!
    Jasprit recently posted…Review: Shimmer by Paula WestonMy Profile

  7. Lily says:

    I have this book up next to read and review and now i’m scared to read it. It just does not sound like a book i’d enjoy and I hate the fact that you found the entire book to be boring. *DOUBLE SIGH*
    Hopefully you enjoy your next read better.
    Lily recently posted…Dangerous Boys:ReviewMy Profile

  8. I agree with you on pretty much everything. I usually try very hard to balance my reviews, but it was almost impossible to find something nice to point out about this one. There was honestly nothing.
    Maja (The Nocturnal Library) recently posted…Review: FeralMy Profile

  9. Amber Elise says:

    Oh God, this sounds…..just awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that!

    Amber Elise @Du Livre

  10. Tanja says:

    Ah well I’m not always happy when a fellow reader hates a book I also hated but boy does this one deserve it. I expected so much and well I got nothing. I mean I was bored and when something actually started to happen I was annoyed. So yeah I feel your pain. Great review, Mel! 🙂
    Tanja recently posted…ARC Review: The Diamond Thief by Sharon GoslingMy Profile

  11. I am reading this RIGHT now. And, yes, it was pretty slow in the beginning. But things have picked up. Still finishing but will let you know what I think when I’m done…
    Thanks so much for stopping by! Jen @ YA Romantics
    Jen @ YA Romantics recently posted…Compare and Contrast: Wildlife by Fiona Wood and Belzhar by Meg WolitzerMy Profile

  12. yeah…you would think this one would be so more exciting than it turned out. I didn’t read it, but based on your review, I never will.
    ShootingStarsMag recently posted…Graphic Review: MIND MGMT by Matt KindtMy Profile

  13. I’m sad. THE COVER IS GORGEOUS. But…but the romance alone seems awful, not to mention all the bordeom of those first few chapters. Ugh. I do not like being bored. But aren’t those misleading synopsises the worst?? I HATE THAT. It’s like the book is setting you up to be annoyed/disappointed, because it’s not even telling you what it’s about. GAH! *scratches off goodreads tbr*
    Cait @ Notebook Sisters recently posted…Beautiful People || Do you want to meet my villains?My Profile

  14. Woah, this sounds the epitome of terribad YA books with whiny overdose. I have just came over a whiny character with the Gated series and I will probably be put off reading if I picked up another. Thanks for the warning Mel, I’ll have to stay away from this book.
    Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Chatterbox: What Would We Do Without YA?My Profile

    • Melanie says:

      Haha that’s basically what it is! Whiny characters are the worst. Like we get that you have a crappy life but please don’t complain about it every two seconds.

  15. Hahah I love your gifs! This sounds awful though, I’m sure I wouldn’t like it at all–cannot deal with characters who have others fix their problems and where the romance is basically a plot device. Great review, Mel!

  16. Amelia K says:

    Hmm, I haven’t heard of this one before but when I read that synopsis, I thought you loved the book because it sounded absolutely brilliant after reading the synopsis. *sighs* Looks like another one with a great concept but shitty execution. Loved your review though!

  17. Wow, that cover and synopsis is definitely deceiving. Definitely not going to read this one now, I know I will have the exact same problems as you did. LOL I’m frustrated with the book just after your review!! The love triangle, the stupid dim witted protagonist… Just nope. Love your review! Really insightfull <3
    Gina @ Behind the Pages recently posted…Book Spotlight: Bad Blood by Nicky PeacockMy Profile

    • Melanie says:

      Thanks Gina! The love triangle was just so pointless and both of the love interests were horrible and I cannot see how the MC was even interested in them. Ugh

  18. Oh no! This sounds horrible. And a love triangle?? That’s a no-go for me, add in the fact that it’s boring and the MC is clueless – doesn’t sound like my book AT ALL.
    Thank you for saving me the trouble LOL.
    Danielle @ Love at First Page recently posted…The TBR TagMy Profile

    • Melanie says:

      Haha no problem. Yes, the love triangle is absolutely terrible because both of the love interests are the slightest bit attractive in any way–and I don’t mean physically. Blurgh

  19. Kelly says:

    ‘The stuff they write on cereal boxes are more interesting than what this book had to offer me.’ Quote of the week! This one sounds like a right mess, how did this even GET published? I think the love triangle is the least of this books problems though, if your boyfriend kills someone, it’s probably a good indication that he’s not the guy for you. What the hell is it with these weak assed contemporary girls latching onto anything with male genitalia?

    Wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole. Awesome review Mel, luuuurved the snark! <3
    Kelly recently posted…Otherbound by Corinne DuyvisMy Profile

  20. Patsy says:

    But great care must be exercised when working with it.
    In the overall standings, the team with the most points wins.
    1) Engines: All fresh water passages should be drained completely so no water is left in the tank.
    Patsy recently posted…PatsyMy Profile

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